Wow. I just did a 10 minute meditation. This is what I did:

1. Got onto my recliner chair
2. Started breathing out. I had so much “pent up breadth”
3. I started to feel so much better and clear headed.

And right now, post meditation session, I feel so refreshed. Mentally calm. This is epic.

It’s about hearing your own breadth, disconnecting and getting it under control.

I am in a mental pickle. Right now, all I want to do is order a massive deep dish pizza, drink, and pass out. I tried biking but my brain just didnt want to do it. Same with running.

Fuck. I am mentally frozen.

I wonder if I need to let it out. And then it will reset. And if that is the case, that sucks. I will need to find a different way to handle this shit.

Update 1:

I did a 10 minute meditation session. It helped so much. I am absolutely clear headed right now. I know I am burnt out and my brain is having trouble thinking about workout and diets and stuff right now. I have started to feel refreshed though.

I have told myself that this week is a vacation, and I am going to force myself to let loose. I am going to break my diet and my running schedule. I am going to chill out and relax. Do things like long term thinking, etc.

I am promising myself that next week I will start with a bang. Mentally recharged.

• Optimize the right thing
• Don’t be overweight. Be Lean.
• Social stuff — the “Right people”. Keep the circle selective. 150 people.

Everyone says discipline is important. But they never tell you why.

It’s the strongest form of self love.

It’s ignoring something to get something better later.

It is a test, a show, a reveal of your commitment to your dreams, especially on days you don’t want to.

The future you is dependent on the current you to keep the promises you made to yourself yesterday.

Three Exercises with Correct Form.

• Side Delt
• Rear Delt
• Front Delt

Challenge in the stretch position

• Low weight is fine. 15 to 20 reps.
• Lateral raise from behind (side delt)
• Read delt — back stuff

• Then, front delt.

I am coming to the end. What a year man.

I had promised myself that I would not let work get in the way. And honestly, it didnt too much but it did a bit.

I am at a work plateau. And I am at a weight plateau.

My friends are getting sick. One guy got a stroke. Everyone is stressed out from work. And the big boss is going on a sabbatical.

Work is so not worth it at the expense of my health. Weight, running. etc.

I am not going to let work fuck with my goals!

To fix this, I need to build up my energies. And go on attack mode.

Just because your body can do it, doesn’t mean you have to! You don’t need to go all out!

Rebellion of the body

My body wants to eat a deep dish pizza, get fucked up on booze and play games and not run for a whole month. Should I let it? Maybe i need to get refreshed mentally. I think I don’t mave too much in the tank right now mentally.

It’s like an F1 car turning into a corner. The goal is not to carry max min speed through the corner but have a good exit …

So maybe thats what this could be. Getting to the Apex, slow down, park it basically, and then come out with FULL THROTTLE

Black Swan Thinking

Weight and calories follow gaussian curve. Standard deviations are low. You will not loose a lot of weight if you basically fast for a few days. And you will not permanently gain if you eat a lot.

Weight loss has to be about shifting the mean over a long period of time.

Compare this to exponential / power law things. Non physical stuff. Viral moments, etc.

I mostly write to organize my thoughts and keep the motivation going.

Keeping the motivation and discipline is hard. This is really, really hard.

Last night – I ate a whole fucking pizza. The root cause was this total carpe diem mindset to relieve the stress. I was sleeping too few hours and constantly thinking about work. So many high impact projects that had to get over the deadline. And I lost my will to keep things straight. Emptied out the tank.

I need to bring some balance into my world and relationship with work. I am also willing to quit it. Next week will get an idea about comp. Again, I am letting comp dictate how I am going to feel? Fuck that. You gotta do what is right. Don’t bargain with your work. Because then it means you believe you can make a deal with your work. Fuck that.

Don’t try to outsmart shit. You cannot.

Always do the most important thing first. For instance: updating this blog. That’s important. So do it regularly.

Running is important. So do it with priority

One critical thing — I take GTD too seriously sometimes. I end up spending too much time on the processing steps, and not enough on the important actions. I will abate this by using my own memory to prioritize important things, and then consult the list or the GTD process to do the other stuff.

I am writing too much. Not enough action.

Lets narrow things down here:

• Mindset
• Nutrition
• Marathon
• General workout