I don’t know how I deal with all this stress. Currently going through what could be a break up after 12 years of dating. Stressed out as fuck. Eating and drinking like crap. I haven’t run in a while.

This is the point where I need to revert. Right now is when an intervention is needed.

I can’t even go 3 weeks on a habit? That would suck. Be better.

1. Maybe I am getting better at it. My time is not improving but I feel less sore. Legs feel great. Perhaps I am developing the right muscles.
2. I like the purity of it.
3. I am noticing some health improvements like resting heart rate, sleep, etc.
4. And I feel nice after a run. Calm, clear headed.

I am definitely dreaming of the NY Marathon. I feel like that is when I will truly become a New Yorker. What will be the state of the world by then? Will I be married? Have a child (or on the way)? Will I be leading my own team? Will I even be in New York?

No matter what, I will run the marathon in 2024. This is the goal.

And then, 2 days after the marathon, I will vote in my first presidential election.

This marathon will be associated with such a crescendo of memories.

However, you got to enjoy the journey there too. The Quarterly GPs will help.

Quick update:

I am at 284 today. That’s a -6 pound delta over 2 days. And a -1 pound delta over 3 days lol.

Be careful about calorie intake and move more towards a ketogenic diet.

I had a great 10k today. It was slower than last weeks, but I am glad I got it done.

Running is fine. I am getting the hang of it. But the problem right now is weight.

I am still stuck at 285. Let’s make a quick goal: lose 2 pounds this week.

I guess whatever it takes for this. Let’s see if I can do this.

What happened last night? Actually, the whole day was fucked up yesterday. Sequence of events:

The night before, I ate a bit too much. I got my keto delivery and I ended up chomping it.

Then, the next day, I continued with my keto food but for some reason, I bought and ate a lot of sweets. I wonder if this was because as I was transitioning to keto, my body craved it. Important thing to note.

Then, stresses from work, personal life etc built up. And I went out for a couple of beers. Ended up being 7 coors lights. Still, it was likely manageable.

But, on the way back, I saw a new pizza joint. Buzzed, I ended up getting 4 slices of pizza and chomped it all down! What the fuck.

I ate 5200 calories bro.

All that hard work I put in this week. Gone due to a spiral. I am so mad. I feel horrible. I am 4 pounds heavier. I can’t run today because of this. Fuck man, why did I do this?

It was not worth it

Look at this.

About 1000 in alcohol

About 1100 in useless pizza

About 1000 in SWEETS so useless!!!

If you remove these out, you had a normal day.

Sweets -> Stress -> Alcohol -> Pizza -> Bad Sleep -> No workout the next day

I am not doing this bro. Fuck this sequence of events. I am not doing this.

I have to live like I am running out of time. This needs to happen.

I did not go after my Marathon 2024 goal on this day. And I am disappointed in myself. Not good.

Get back up bro. I am annoyed. Dont do this shit again. I dont have tolerance for this stuff anymore. No more words of encouragement. You need some discipline.

You know why this date is interesting.

Anyway, I ran very slow yesterday. But I did 5k. This distance seems to be good.

I have signed up for a bunch more races. My goal right now is to lower the weight so that running becomes easier.

And then, to pick up the pace. I am averaging about 15 mins per mile. I want to shave off 5 mins per mile over the next few months.

Towards the end of the year, I will switch focus to endurance.

I had an amazing race yesterday. 10k – in one of the most difficult circuits out there. I am seriously proud of that. In general, cardiac health is going to be important for me. And I have my eyes set on Marathon 2024, so the goal is to get ready for that too.

One of the main reasons I started running is because I want to lose weight. Frankly, over the last month of running, I haven’t lost a single pound. I think I have been eating below my BMR, but maybe not? It could also be that I am putting on myself in the lower body, which is replacing the fat. I do feel like I have lost fat. But the weighing machine is not budging.

I am at 285 right now, and it is not a good idea to keep doing long runs at this weight. This is just a recipe for injuries. So, here is my small adjustment to the overall plan:

• Focus on 5kish runs
• Focus on consistency
• Focus on keeping calories clean and in check

After a month, I will evaluate if I need to do some upper body exercises.

I am excited about this plan for now. Let’s not let it fizzle out!

How do I feel right now? A bit sore. Exhausted. Focussed. Meditative.

I just finished my first 10k. It was hard. I wanted to give up many times. I was slow and I took a lot of breaks. But I finished it. An official road race in New York.

The good:

• It was great to run. Nice social scene. And good to feel one with the road and the city.
• It had some of the fastest paces I have conjured, and that is despite it being such a tough race.
• I think I am getting better running wise.

The bad:

• I don’t think running is the silver bullet to losing weight. Diet has to play a big factor here too.
• There is risk of injury, although I think that can be abated.
• I was very slow.

Overall, I am super happy that I have an official result now. And that this result got established in early Jan. Now I know what to improve.

Next up:

A dance between lowering the weight and increasing the pace.

My first “long” race. Longer than a 5k.

I am nervous. But it is fine – the goal is merely completion. Take it without stress.

Enjoy!

Yesterday, I was feeling really anxious. Mind was racing; I was confusing myself. So many things to do. Fear of this year running away from me.

But then, I decided to go for a run. And I felt better! It was hard to run as I’m still fat and slow, but, I took that action.

Probably a lesson to keep in mind.

We can do this. It’s just running. Your ancestors ran for miles. You can too.

Work is not the most important thing in life. Those people are making more than you and in better shape than you. At least you can get in better shape than them.

No need to complain about the hand that has been dealt to you. Sure, you have been obese since you were a kid. A lot of it is psychological, genetic and bad habits from childhood. Remember your learnings from the Beck Book:

• Carpe Diem is not worth it.
• Why should you let other people stop you from achieving your health goals?
• Why should being in NY stop you from achieving your health goals? People lose weight here. And this is the runners paradise.
• Why dedicate so much time to your job and be so stressed by it? Are you the President or a CEO? Do you even own any part of this company? Fuck that shit then. Focus on yourself.

You have a plan, and I am confident you will be able to schedule the right amount of time for it. You will be fine.