Confidence in the face of nay-sayers

Posted on January 1, 2023 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

Well, this is the first update of 2023.

I started 2023 with a bang, I think. I did my first outdoors 5k! Also, the first race of the 9+1 program, to get into the NY Marathon.

I ate noodles and kanafa as my only meal. Watching some football.

Some quick thoughts about this new journey:

  • It is important to be confident that you will be able to get this done. You have it under control.
  • You really have to not listen to nay-sayers. I can’t believe how harsh my parents can be. Have to compartmentalize.

First run

Jan 1. My first 5k. I feel great. This will set the tone for the year.

Running is going to be critical for a while on this journey to lose weight.

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2023 Q1 GP

Posted on January 1, 2023 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

I love the “GP” aspect. It is sort of a F1 race. But no, that is not what the GP stands for. It stands for Goals and Plans for this particular quarter, which will run from Jan 1 to March 31.

Overarching goal is NY Marathon 2024 . That will require loosing of weight and improving cardiac conditioning.

Let’s get this race started!

Goal

  • Get to 265 (started at 290)
  • Run 2 or 3 races

Plan

  • Running to 10k
  • Burn 1000 a day average
  • Calorie average less than 1850
  • ADJUSTMENT: Weight loss is slow, so add more scrutiny.

Try

  • Minimize alcohol and coffee (the yin and the yan of the mental swing)
  • Use tea or water
  • Minimize podcast or TV to fill the time.

QUARTERLY STATS

  • Total miles ran: 75 miles
  • Total runs: 25
  • Fastest K: 7:09
  • Fastest Mile: 12:30
  • Fastest 5k: 43:16
  • Fastest 10: 1:29:11
  • Fastest Half: 3:46:24

QUARTERLY UPDATE

  • Generally, I am very happy with this quarter.
  • I really tested the limits of my running. That is great.
  • A quarter is a good amount of time to solidify some habits. I think I was able to pick up a few critical habits in this quarter:
    • Minimizing alcohol
    • Eating clean
    • Running with regularity
    • Being stress free, sleeping well
  • Now, there will be triggers that try to ruin this stuff. The goal will be to not do that. To rely on this quarter as inspiration.
  • Next quarter will get harder. The goals will get more difficult. But I am excited to take the next step
  • I love that I just dove into the 10k, and then also pushed myself for the half (22k). These things pushed my limits early. I understood myself.
  • Running is ‘easy’ in the sense it has a low activation energy. I dont have to dress up too much. And it is solitary in the park. I love it. I love running without anyone around me.
  • Surprisingly, my pace was the best in the first 10k. Second hardest race that I ran, but interesting yea? Maybe it was an unknown unknown and I pushed myself a bit too much. The adrenaline of running for the first time. Still, surprising to me. Goal is to beat that time reliably in the next Q
  • Food-wise, I think I understand what is needed to loose weight. An example of that is the golden week.
  • The biggest surprise of this quarter was sobriety. Not total, but a 98% reduction in consumption. Initially, the cause of this was psychological and stress induced. But then I started to see the health benefits. For a long time, I lost total interest in booze. I even hated the taste. More recently, I have started to feel that mental exhaustion from work which is making me desire it. Maybe the body is desiring hydration or something to be honest. Also, as the weather is getting warmer I think the body is desiring some easy to drink stuff, and to chill with people. To be honest, I to enjoy non alcohol booze, surprisingly. Perhaps I can keep that going.
  • I started to understand CEO confidence vs. Redneck confidence
  • The body has an amazing ability to adapt. You can make it adapt to anything. You are capable of a lot more than you think.
  • The consistency for the blog is also helping me. I am reviewing the older posts and here is what I am noticing:
    • Things were not as rosy as I am imagining right now. I had so many struggles. I remember the good things, which is great, but I should be inspired by the struggles.
    • I struggled with consistency: I found a solution – lower the activation energy.
    • I had to remind myself constantly: THERE IS NO CHOICE. I can’t take a break
  • I need to remember that work is not the most important thing.
  • Running reduces my stress and anxiety. That is important. When in doubt, just go for a run.
  • Is this therapy was a window into my rational mind, and how I talked myself out of the depths of hell.
  • Bro, FEBRUARY was on a ROLL
  • I started to get a running cadence and a food recipe that worked.
  • FOCUS ON ONE DAY AT A TIME
  • Covid wrecked me, but no excuses.

MONTHLY UPDATES:

  • January
    • Ate 2200 calories a day!!
    • 39 miles. 10 hours
    • WEIGHT LOSS: 0lbs
  • February
    • Averaging less than 1800 calories a day. This is great. No wonder the weight started to move.
    • Overall, pleased with February. Need more months like this.
    • 25 miles, 6 hours. Less mileage but at least I lost weight.
    • WEIGHT LOSS: 9lbs
  • March
    • Will have the 13 miler. Maybe a 6 miler in first week. And then a 3 miler.
    • I should aim to do a Marathon spread over a week.
    • WEIGHT LOSS:

WEEKLY UPDATES:

  • Jan 8:
    • 2 races down!! Likely will have one more (in Feb).
    • I did a 10k!
    • Weight is stagnant
  • Jan 14:
    • Ran a 5k and a 10k this week. I am really happy for you.
    • BUT YOUR WEIGHT IS STAGNANT.
    • Read this
  • Feb 6
    • Signed up for many races. Doing my running plan.
    • BUT WEIGHT STAGNANT. Time for deep intervention.
  • Feb 13
    • Wow, I saw a lot of weight movement. I reached a low of 280!! I put some back on today, but yea, it is moving. 8 pound movement
    • I am worried about the volatile month coming up. Remember: I need to meet 265!!!!
    • I also ran another race! It was great. By the end of this month, I will have more than 50% of qualification done!
    • I like running bro
  • Feb 19
    • Weight is at 280/281. Not a lot of loss. I was quite sick this week and I had some guests over.
    • So, thats how simple this is. Keep the system going.
    • I have another race coming up soon
  • Feb 25
    • I saw 279.4. But would have hoped for a bit lower. Keep going though.
    • The health trends are improving a lot. Legs are stronger. Heart feels stronger.
    • I did a 5k. I attempted a 4M but had a beaurocratic issue.
    • Fuck – next up is a HALF MARATHON. Let’s see how that goes.
  • Mar 4
    • COVID. So couldn’t run.
    • But I saw 276.8. That was cool. Probably temporary. But lets get it back.
    • I have a half marathon in 1 week.
  • Mar 11
    • Ran 6.5 miles. I think I can do it to completion.
    • i saw 279.
  • Mar 19
    • BRO you did a fucking HALF MARATHON. WHAT THE FUCK
    • It was slow as fuck, pace of about 17, so you ran for almost 4 hours. But .. YOU RAN FOR 4 HOURS
    • Also, I saw 276, 278 and currently at 279. I hope I have broken through the 280 plateau.
    • I RAN A HALF MARATHON. Running wise, I am super proud of myself this Q
  • March 26
    • Ran in a different city.
    • Running was a bit slower but I am trying to keep it consistent.

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A bow on the cake

Posted on December 31, 2022 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

As I end 2022, I feel – fine. Content.

Some things went well this year. Great even, perhaps. Some things didn’t go so well. That is life, and that is fine. I have already summarized things in the EOY post, so I won’t rehash it here. I just wanted to give some high level thoughts, more pertaining the next year.

For 2023, I have a feeling of optimism. Even if things don’t go my way, I feel fine. I know that I will give it my best. I have a clear goal and a feeling of optimistic energy. I want to be in control my health, life and relationship. Things will be okay.

Happy New Year

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Prevention is better than …

Posted on December 30, 2022 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

I’m now at the age where I need to seriously start to think about the main reasons I will die, or some of the reasons I will get degraded health. Some big ones that I can somewhat control:

  • Obesity
  • Atherosclerosis
  • Diabetes
  • Liver disease
  • Glaucoma

More on this later.

Obesity

Mark Sisson says that losing weight fast is safe, and maybe even recommended. In fact, changing metabolic intake to low calories but mostly protein will probably get a lot of weight off quickly.

Obesity is a disease, an illness. So getting the weight off rapidly is probably a good thing. Fast I get it done, the better. This is part of the audibling donda approach.

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2022 EOY

Posted on December 27, 2022 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

This is a bit of a special entry. Similar to the 2015 review when I moved to the Meditations, I am going to a do a whole year review; and then move to a regular schedule. I’ll will evolve this over time. The current plan is weekly updates and quarterly review.

Overview

  • Weight loss of 16 pounds
  • Based on tracking, consumed average of 2000 calories a day.
  • Based on those two, seems like there is about a 550 calorie fudge factor.
  • Sleep is meh, about 6.25 hours per night.
  • Exercise is 931 per day
  • 174 days > 1000 calorie burn
  • 237 days > 30 min

Weight

Ultimately, the objective function is to reduce weight. So, start with that.

Key stat: Lost 16ish pounds.

Not great but I am not beating myself over it. This year was to establish a baseline; and given this baseline, I am quite excited to overlay the next year on top of it.

Diet

The key variable I can control is calorie intake.

Key stat: mean of ~2000. 

mean     2013.549307
std       668.060718
min       303.330000
25%      1544.000000
50%      1994.020000
75%      2348.750000
max      5613.370000

Interesting learning: Based on the weight loss, it suggests 150 calorie deficit from TDEE. It’s a much lower deficit than what I would expect (2700 vs. 2000 mean). In reality, it seems like I need to consider a fudge factor of about 550 calories per day.

For instance, assume I want to loose 30 pounds. That should give me a deficit of 300. Add the fudge and subtract from TDEE: 2700 – (300 + 550) = 1850 mean

That is actionable advice.

Distribution:

Exercise

This year, I got rid of the gym. That was an interesting experiment. And I think I learned that I don’t like not working out.

Sleep

This is not an indepth take on sleep. I do have the data via oura, but I am leaving that for another time.

Key stat: 6.25 hours per night. I can shoot for it to become a bit longer. Closer to 6.5.

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What are we waiting for?

Posted on December 25, 2022 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

This is it boys, this is war. War on lack of motivation, focus and control.

So, it’s been 10 years since the last update on this blog. Things are, in many ways, still the same.

The key issue still is that I am overweight. I haven’t really lost the weight over the last 10 years. It’s not like I lost it and then gained it back. Nope, I have just slowly gained it.

In recent history, I have tried a few different approaches. The most recent ones include “Salt and Water” and “Flip the Switch”. I think “Flip the switch” was a lot more successful than “Salt and Water”. I am going to continue doing “Flip the Switch”, but make it public on this blog.

Some main things I want to focus on:

  • Most likely, once a week at least, I want to make a post here, that summarizes what’s going on. I will have a sort of template perhaps: good and bad. Overtime, I want to minimize the bad I guess.
  • I want to give some updates on my running and workouts. I am trying to run the NY Marathon in 2024, and I want to mold my body to be able to do that.
  • Once in a while, I will share my latest “plan”. Succinct post about food, workout, relaxation, etc.
  • Once in a while, I will share what my current goal is. I am going to do quarterly goals.

Broadly, it is going to follow the Meditations notebook, but mostly focussed on health and wellness.

Quarterly Goals

The goal is something that I am striving towards.

I think this is a good chunk to think in terms of. A year is too long, and course correction can become too lagged. Jan1, Apr1, Jul1,Oct1. I will have an overarching goal (like, NY Marathon in 2024). I will have some quarterly goals that will force me to reflect at a higher frequency. And then I will have weekly updates to address the goal going on at the moment.

Quarterly Plans

The plan is what I am going to use to achieve the goal.

I want to commit certain modalities. And I want to keep switching them up at some frequency. Quarterly frequency makes sense for such a switch. Things that compose a modality are: diet and exercise plan. For the first couple of quarters it will be keep certain calories and focus on increasing running distance.

Weekly Updates

Just share thoughts, updates, how I am feeling, etc. The good, the bad.

Finally

New year. New decade. Learned from the last year and last 10 years. Let reorient ourselves and achieve great goals. Time for transformation is here.

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Is 10 years a long time?

Posted on December 25, 2022 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

Probably a 6th or a 7th of my life.

Clearly, I didn’t sustain my blogging habit from 10 years ago. I want to start the journey again.

I have been doing quite a bit of logging in general. And I want to do more of it. The current theme is “Flip the Switch”, which I started in 2022. I want to take energy into 2023 and fix this shit.

10 years ago, I was at about 265. Today, I am at about 285. Not great. But I am motivated again to get back into shape. Better late than never.

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Focussed passion

Posted on June 1, 2013 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

To actually be successful, I think you need the general passion and confidence I described in the previous post; and focus that energy towards a goal.

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Confidence. Passion. Confidence?

Posted on June 1, 2013 by cnsnnts — Leave a comment

Some people say you gotta fake it until you make it. Some people say you gotta be passionate about what you do.

Can you fake confidence and make it into real confidence? What about passion? Can you ‘fake’ passion?

A common theme career advisors talk about is “find what you are passionate about”. I think thats bullshit. Passion is just as fakeable as confidence. You can be the most passionate person in the room about watering your plants in your office. Or the most passionate janitor in an old age home. You are either a generally passionate person, or not! Its that simple. Holistic passion. About everything and anything. Those are the most successful people. People who can get the same passion from selling newspapers door to door as they can from writing an artful piece of code.
And from passion comes confidence. When you are passionate about something (everything), you ooze it out. You are so engrossed in it that you can talk about it all the time. And you talk with authority. Awe. Amazement. With just a *little* more work, you become someone who can influence others to agree with your POV.

 

 

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Courage

Posted on April 29, 2013 by cnsnnts — 1 Comment

I am not a *huge* Gandhi fan, but I do admire him. I certainly don’t think he was a Mahatma (maha, atma). But I do take his deepest message to heart about true courage. Violence is a cowardly thing to do. Silencing someone is also cowardly. True courage lies in going beyond this.

This spills over to self-esteem. People with low self-esteems frequently have superiority complexes. They project their insecurities through violence. Through bullying. Not necessarily through arrogance, or apathy.

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