I am so annoyed and disappointed in myself.

I had promised myself that I would do a healthy februrary. Part of that was virtually no booze. But on the second day of Feb, I already drank. So useless. Stupid shit.

Keep working on yourself. Please do NOT give up. Don’t pull your foot from the accelerator.

Last year was Red Bull’s historic season. Verstappen’s historic season too. You just knew that he would win any race out there. Once in a while, someone would come close, but generally they would eventually drop off. Remember that one race in which Russell shoots off – but then Verstappen eventually catches up. It’s all about the Tire Strategy. You have to manage the aggression and control.

Pattern Recognition and Machine UN-learning

I read The Beck Book Jan 1 2022. And then I maintained that long blog called Flip the Switch. I then moved to this blog. So, I have 2 years of history about my numbers, my habits, my consistency, etc. I am noticing some patterns:

• I start the year big. I remain on track until Feb or March. I loose weight, feel great. But then something happens and I basically stop making progress. I don’t stop my efforts, but they loose their energy I guess.
• Then, the weight come back on towards the second half of the year.

I need to break this habit. It has happened twice now. I have to keep pushing it and it will happen. I am much better equipped to deal with this now. Not lifting my foot from the pedal this year.

Reviewing 2022 and 2023

I see the patterns. I know where I will slip. I know what to look out for. I am confident as FUCK.

This is working, so dont fuck with it

Last two years have been about discovering my limits. I know what works what doesnt work. I know the foods that work. The workouts that work. That’s pretty much it.

The body will adjust. Visualize the future

Eat normal, and you will become normal. If you eat double, you will be double. You will plateau eventually. Gym everyday.

Summary:

• I am good at building habits. Running, logging, blogging.
• Look a little ahead, like a month or two, and make sure you have races, workouts, etc planned out.
• Sustain the energy. Don’t be derailed by the weight not moving. Scrutinize how you look and feel the body.
• Black swans will come. Learn to tdeal with them.
• By the summer, I am totally out of it. July I basically stop shit.
• Protein and low fat works for me better. Chocolates and alcohol fuck me up
• There is a summer diet.

What to expect:

• March, April – the weight will stay stable but your body will change composition. Keep pushing through. Don’t get frusturation
• Sneak in a diet break but you have to get back to it.

---

Jan

2022
started strong. Controlling food. Frusturated.
Saw some results. Gave up early. Ate like a pig. Confused, struggling, trying new things. Not sticking to one thing.

2023
Started strong. Writing every day. Reminders to myself to be consistent.
Kept running. Pulled back after a bit, had that fucked up day. 5000 calories. Trying new things. Not sure what to do totally yet.

It’s amazing how similar the two are. Work was on the down low, and I was laser focused on health stuff. But I was also not consistent as I was trying new things.
Part of is was just not being sure. So trying everything out. And when you aren’t sure, you are like “fuck it” lets go crazy. But, thats not the case this time! I have a plan. It took me two years to figure out this plan. And I – just – have – to – execute – it. Just this one year.

Be careful about black swan events. Handle your bidness.

Feb

2022
Work starts to take over. I drink during superbowl and gain back the weight. I loose heart. Then, I start to dial things down a lot more.

2023
Formula was becoming crystalized. I was on track. This was great. I reached all time lows. This was just amazing progress. I realized a lot of good habits here. I wish I could just replicate this month over and over.

Instead of being consistent, I started to get even more aggressive. 1600 calories. This is not going to work bro. You have to let the body adjust over months, not days or weeks. Be intentional about the calorie intake.

March

2022
This is where I start to loose it. I start eating out. Alcohol goes up. My birthday is in this month. St. Patty’s day. Exhaustion from following the protocols. I don’t update the blog that often.

2023
Covid derailed me here. I tried to keep it going, but I got derailed. Fuck.
Here, I started to seek out the past — the Golden Week. Just reproduce the same stuff.
https://cnsnnts.wordpress.com/2023/03/20/the-golden-week/

Here, I need to keep an eye out for Black Swans like getting covid, or travel. Running is important. And “watching what I eat”. Don’t let these things derail you.

April

2022
Stuck and desparate. Talks about “ramping it up again”.
2023
I went from covid into pollan allergy. Horrible shit.
Many non scale victories
Body

May

2022
SF tail events. It’s okay to take a break. But you have to get back. I talked to Terrell about this. I am now thinking about other aspects about life. So this is not he priority. Cannot happen this year.
2023
Engine was fucking revving. I was at a low weight. Wow.
Protein was heavy.
Tail even with family coming.

June

2022
Loosing my grip. Plateau. Motivation loss.
2023
Running on vacation. So, no motivation loss!

July
2022
Family obligation in London. Couldn’t focus on anything. No workout mechanism. Just eating.
This is when things break down for me.
2023
Work stress. Booze control.

August

2022
Massive black swan. Dad’s ER. Multisim. Here, I am just static. No progress, but not worse. I let loose when I came back. Drinking like there was no tomorrow. Stress relief.

2023
Running. Almost fainted. But I was dedicated. It is so hard. Sleeping well. Distractions. Etc.

Sept
2022
Now, work starts to interfere in my mental health. I fucking hate this period. End of august, september shit.
2023
summer diet

Oct
2022
Started running!!!! So a new thing was added here. But no progress. I am stressed out by the lack of total progress. It is the most frusturating period
2023
I loved that I continued pushing the knowledge.

Nov
2022
Work stress getting to me. No progress. I decided to do marathon.
2023
Marathon build up

Dec
2022
Started to look ahead.
2023
I just love it

This is so difficult. It is so hard to remain on track but not see progress. Am I doing the right thing? Do I look better? etc, etc. 

On the other hand - sometimes I see super rapid weight loss, and I feel weaker too. And I wonder if that is muscle loss. 

Weight - the number on the scale

weight = fat + muscle + water

var(fat) is low
var(muscle) is low
var(water) is high

Muscle Mass

The critical thing is to just maintain and maybe increase this a bit. 

Fat Loss

The ONLY way this can happen is a calorie deficit, fat activation, NEAT, etc. 

I measured high BP the other day. I am not going to look at it yet. I need to see what’s up there. Also the eye pressure is a bit high.

I need a fucking mental break. The body is getting fucked up.

I am going to incorporate a 2 day water fast into my protocol.

Heal yourself by not eating.

I am not yet tracking these numbers regularly. But, I will start after this fast. Let’s see how damaged my body is right now.

Supplements

Other people are living their lives. Their lives are progressing. Where as I am fat, unhealthy and a drunk.

They are making kids while I am letting the marathon goal slip.

No.

I am not going to let this happen.

I am going through the same shit with the gf as last year. Looks like this time is actually real.

I am not going to let my marathon goal be co-opted. I’m sorry. This is too important.

My job is causing a lot of stress to me.

Again, I am not going to let this impact me.

[1] Calorie deficit

1% to 1.5% body weight per week.

Don’t overdo it. Then your body shuts down.

25% calorie deficit. Maybe 1600 then?

[2] Protein

Don’t go into all or nothing

[3] Activity

Increase your walking calories. Burn 1000 a day for sure.

Then, continue your running. But focus on walking too

[4] Strength Training

Calorie burning machine.

[5] Diet breaks

2 weeks at a time at maintanence, not deficit. Then go back.

I talked to a running coach. Man, running is becoming a big deal.

Need to get serious about this. Almost every day, i have to do something. Some days, I have to do other stuff. But generally, I have to keep going.

I need an app to figure out running plan. this will be fucking fun.

Some targets

Upper bound limits:

• 6 hours for marathon
• 2:52 hours for half marathon My current fastest is 3:45. So I need to shave off an hour.

Using the cold to build the base

I love running in the cold. And so, I want to use this period (winter) to get most of my progress done.

Protein

This is CRITICAL. This is the way to the promised land. It has great thermo properties. It preserves muscle. Meat tier list has a list of high quality stuff. How much protein in one sitting Protein both have information on this. So, let’s keep it going.

Relationship with the scale

I havent taken my weight this year so far. I am focussing on the process. Building the foundation without being distracted.

But soon, I think I should take weight. Maybe at the end of the month.

You gotta pay attention the weight. It is your objective function. But the problem is that unlike a NN, you can have periods of plateaus which will need to get busted through. So, maybe there are other ways to measure too. Eventually I’ll see.

Distractions

Gaming can be quite a bit of a distraction. It also takes the edge off. So, be careful with it.

Downside of GLPs

GLP1 and Yerba Matte might be able to get me thin. BUT, it don’t help me build a habit. So, Fuck GLPs. I will do the hard work so that the results are sticky.

What works and what doesnt?

I have been able to build habits. Running is just the latest one. I have gotten into F1. My GTD one is a great thing. So, yea, I have the ability to build habits.

But some habits have been hard to keep. Food habits and weight loss. I think it’s basically about making it easy? Running is easy so maybe that’s what is? Also – being gentle.

Strength training is a prime candidate now. Focus on easily achievable goals.