Giving myself permission to run the marathon

a.k.a : notes from vocal meditation 2023

I just had a talk to myself for about 45 minutes. That sounds like a crazy statement. Hah. But that’s just what it is. Sometimes, the world is extremely distracting – work, social media, etc, etc etc. And so sometimes, I need some time to sit in solitude, in peace and just talk to myself about things. Work through problems, concerns, etc.

What I found out about myself is that I am essentially a hoarder. Maybe there is a type of procastinator that describes me better, but “hoarder” was the first term that came to my mind. My mind is so active that it generates tasks for myself. Then I hoard these tasks. I have trouble deleting them without doing them, or addressing them in some way. This is amplified by my epic task management system (GTD!) which is very efficient at thought collection and surfacing all these thoughts with equal weights in front of me. This leads to me spending more time just dealing with thoughts rather than actually accomplishing things.

At the root of this issue seems to be a desire to do everything. I have the mentality that this is a short life, my time is running out, and so I have to do everything. I want to participate in politics, do stand up comedy, do magic, study statistics, write a novel, make money, start a company, run a marathon. And look, I would rather have this desire to do everything than a desire to do nothing. So I get it. I like that about me. But I have to deal with this in some strategic way.

For instance, running a marathon was an unimaginable goal for me. Harder than starting a company. But, it is slowly becoming more and more achievable. I see a realistic path towards it. Similarly, there are probably realistic paths to some of those other things too. But what I cannot do is to do them all simultaneously and right now. That would do a disservice to everyone.

So, I have given myself permission to punt on many of my lofty goals until the marathon goal is achieved. This is important. I am going to focus purely on the marathon and weight loss until November 2024. And then, think about other things.

I like this idea a lot. It’s how I am effective at work as well. Remember the “Audibling Donda” approach. This is my “Audible to Donda” right now.

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In my note, I sketched out something like this. And remember, that things will stack:

• 2024: Weight loss and marathon, and keeping tabs on AI
• 2025: Strength, cardio health focus, some hobby like music to a serious level.
• 2026: Focus on getting MD (if I am still at my current firm) and writing.
• 2027: Get published, think about starting a company
• 2028: Think about financial independence by starting a company and involvement in politics
• 2029: This is a big year. We will reset and replan.