Not sure, its a bit too detailed.

I think he prefers high protein anyway.

I ate lo mein and fried rice. Oh god – it was so bad. I got constipated, and I was not satisfied at all.

It started the journey into booze. Bad sleep. Buzzed mind. No calmness. FUCK ALL THIS SHIT.

I don’t want these tail events.

You need to get more effective at managing your work. You need to reduce obligations and also be effective at solving the problems. Push back, say no. It’s too adversarial. Things have to change here.

Don’t let work fuck your health. I want to have a healthy future and that is my current focus. I do not want to give that up for work.

I will work hard at work. And I will also make sure I continue my health journey. And my relationships.

You got this brother. You accomplished the qualification. Who would have thought! I was at that bar with that guy last year, remember? That’s when you first discussed the possibility of this. And now, you have done it. Fucking, congratulations dude.

Running outside (not walking) definitely destresses me. I think it’s the physical and mental effort that forces me to disassociate from the stuff.

For work, if I am going to login in in the night anyway, then i can probably leave / stop working early.

Only the volunteering step is left. I wish I had done that volunteer thing back in March. But covid messed that up a bit. It’s okay.

But yea, I did my final qualification race!

The weather has been really bad in NY. Hot and humid. Running outside has been a challenge. Maybe I should consider using Treadmill to augment running outside. And it could be the powerhouse for weight loss as I can do intervals.

Next focus

• Run more miles per week
• Accelerate weight loss
• Food improvement
• Don’t worry about pace. Worry about mileage.

I will expand this later.

November 2024 I need to run the marathon

Lose 60 pounds

Be able to run half marathons

A pace of less than 13 will be good. I want it to be < 6 hours.

And will be important to keep consistent pace

11 mins a mile to 13 mins a mile.

LOTS OF PICTURES WILL BE TAKEN

Some splits:

I want to get to new PRs and nonstop 5ks.

• Use a combination of time and miles
• Do 2 to 3 times a week
• About six miles

Check points

• Run Half Mile
• Run 5 miles
• Run 10 Minutes
• Run 1 Mile

Next set of points

• Run 1.5 miles
• Run 2 miles
• Run 3.1 miles

• Shoulders relaxed
• Stomach breathing
• Bring your mind back to focus
• Don’t panic – no panic breathing.
• “Don’t Panic” is something he keeps saying.
• Floor is Lava
• Check your cadence
• Form check
• HIt it below the hips

Fuck booze, carbs and late night shit.

Fuck that pathetic self hating shit.

I dont feel good.

Fact: I went out too much over the last few days, by myself. Drinking. Listening to that bull shit music.

Texting people I dont want to text.

FUCK THAT SHIT.

NO – I am not letting this happen. I am not going to let self wallowing pity fuck me up.

I have a goal – MARATHON !

Loose that weight. no excuses.

There is no option here. I cannot let this happen.

Fuck alcohol. Fuck booze. Fuck that tail spin.

HOW TO STOP IT?

I need to think about this. How do I stop the derailment?

Maybe the Six Alarms will help?

I need reasons to come home. Like read a book, or get popcorn. Etc.

I’ve seen so many people who are slimming down. People at work. John Goodman. MrBeast was a big one. See the video. Chrissy D is a big one too! He does IF and forgives himself and looks forward.

MrBeast has time to do that now. Obama used to have time.

Mr Beast can spend 1.5 hours of exercise. He is more stressed but it’s okay.

So, just build up your habit.

One issue with tail events is that i don’t have a way to stop it. I need ways to calm shit down immediately.

Some ideas:

• Go for a walk with music like Roh
• Quick anxiety techniqie
• Huberman stress realtime
  • Breathing
• Exercises to reduce it
  • Slow down the brain
  • Use fingers, motor cortex. Voice. Visual.
  • Sensory overload the brain.
  • Kirtan Kriya
  • Ta sa na ma

I have written so many posts on this topic. Just a reminder that I do remember that being sober feels awesome.

I fucking hate the feeling of booze now.

The mental clarity is awesome.

RHR is so correlated with BOOZE. Fuck that shit.