You are allowed to give up on Booze now. Especially after that destruction.

You are allowed to be an asshole about it. No need to satisfy the urges of OTHER PEOPLE.

You are on a journey now. Marathon 2026. A Big Year for running.

Booze will destroy your efforts. And there is something AMAZING about staying up late while sober.

You now have the permission to dedicate yourself to this goal. And maybe one more thing like housing. But really, nothing else.

I need a list of regular meals

Cinnamon

Yoghurt with oats

Vegan stuff, higher fiber

Wow. It is TOUGH to get on the wagon. But I think it is happening.

I did a 5 mile run. AS USUAL. 5 to 7 miles is the sweet spot to kick things off.

My legs feel stronger. I feel like going back out. That’s really all you have to do.

Just. Keep. Going. Out.

Wear your shorts and tshirt. Get your audio book. Turn the brain off for some time and keep going.

And then, I want to hit up the gym too. It’s ON

✅ What is Retatrutide

• Retatrutide is a synthetic peptide drug developed by Eli Lilly and Company. Its developmental code name was LY-3437943. Drugs.com+1
• It is not yet approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) — it’s still investigational. Drugs.com+1
• Because of its mode of action — targeting multiple hormone receptors — people sometimes call it “Reta,” “Reta peptide,” or “reta” informally. Drugs.com+2Alturas Medical Weight Loss+2

🔬 Mechanism of Action — Why It’s “Next-Gen”

Retatrutide is a triple-receptor agonist: it activates three key metabolic hormone receptors simultaneously:

• GLP-1 receptor (glucagon-like peptide-1) — like older weight-loss drugs. Wikipedia+2Synapse+2
• GIP receptor (glucose-dependent insulinotropic polypeptide) — another incretin hormone receptor that helps regulate insulin and fat metabolism. Drugs.com+2ScienceDirect+2
• Glucagon receptor (GCGR) — which influences glucose production, energy expenditure, fat breakdown (lipolysis), and metabolic rate. PMC+2ScienceDirect+2

This “triple agonist” design is intended to:

• Suppress appetite (via GLP-1 and GIP effects) Nulevel Wellness Medspa+1
• Improve insulin sensitivity / glucose regulation (incretin effects) Drugs.com+1
• Increase energy expenditure and fat-burning (via glucagon receptor activation) Men’s Health+2PMC+2

Because of this combined action, Retatrutide is considered more comprehensive than older, single-pathway peptide drugs like those that only target GLP-1. Men’s Health+2Nulevel Wellness Medspa+2

📈 What the Clinical Data Shows (So Far)

• In a 48-week trial, participants with obesity lost on average about 24.2% of their body weight on Retatrutide. Nature+2New England Journal of Medicine+2
• Other trials showed reductions up to 22.8% and ~24% depending on dose (e.g. 8 mg or 12 mg) in participants over 24 to 48 weeks. Nature+2PMC+2
• Beyond weight loss, Retatrutide has shown promising effects on blood sugar regulation (glycemic control), insulin sensitivity, and other metabolic markers — potentially beneficial for people with type 2 diabetes or metabolic syndrome. ScienceDirect+2Synapse+2
• There is also emerging evidence that it may help reduce liver fat in people with metabolic dysfunction–associated steatotic liver disease (a form of fatty-liver disease). Nature+2Synapse+2
• Some sources suggest advantages for cardiovascular risk factors (e.g. cholesterol, blood pressure) and possibly benefits related to metabolic health and “healthy aging.” Premier Dermatology+1

⚠️ What We Don’t Know / Safety + Regulatory Status

• Retatrutide is not yet FDA-approved. Drugs.com+2Drugs.com+2
• Because it’s still investigational, long-term safety — especially over years or decades — remains uncertain. ScienceDirect+2PMC+2
• There is concern about grey-market “retatrutide peptides” being sold online outside medical/research settings. Many of these are unregulated powders marketed to fitness/body-image communities, but they are not the clinically tested, quality-controlled drug. Drugs.com+2Men’s Health+2
• Risks of unregulated peptide use are real: unknown purity, mislabeling, contamination, dosing errors, and potentially serious side effects or adverse reactions. Drugs.com+1
• Also, because Retatrutide can cause notable weight loss — and you want to preserve muscle mass while losing fat — there’s a risk of muscle loss if diet/training aren’t carefully managed. Some experts highlight this trade-off. Men’s Health+1

🎯 What It Means for You (Given Your Goals)

Given your background and goals (you want to lose fat while preserving muscle, are doing strength training and prepping for a marathon, and you track macros intensely):

• In theory, Retatrutide’s fat-loss and appetite-suppression effects could help accelerate fat loss.
• But because it’s unapproved and safety/long-term effects are uncertain — especially regarding muscle preservation — using “retatrutide peptides” (esp. from grey market) would be risky.
• If Retatrutide eventually gets approved, and is used under medical supervision, you’d need to make sure nutrition and training are adjusted to protect muscle (plenty of protein, strength maintenance, careful macro tracking) — exactly the kind of disciplined approach you already prefer.
• Given your heavy protein goals (160–180 g/day) and structured training: you might better lean on those fundamentals first before considering unapproved pharmacological shortcuts.

Most people think self-destructive habits come from weakness.
They don’t.

They come from unmet needs—psychological, emotional, and creative.

Here’s the pattern almost no one talks about:

1. High-intensity work creates a vacuum

If your job demands focus, pressure, and constant output, you give a huge part of your identity to someone else’s priorities all day long.

When the day ends, you don’t just feel tired.
You feel displaced.

Your brain says:

“I spent all day serving external goals.
Now I need something that feels like mine.”

This is the moment where destructive impulses begin.

2. The problem isn’t alcohol. It’s freedom.

A surprising truth:
Most people who spiral in the evenings aren’t addicted to the substance.

They’re addicted to a feeling:

• aliveness
• novelty
• unpredictability
• possibility
• self-expression
• agency
• freedom

Bars, nightlife, spontaneous hangouts — these environments deliver high-entropy freedom fast.

Not because someone wants to get drunk.
But because they want to feel unbounded, even if only for a moment.

3. The destructive behavior shows up because the real self isn’t being fed

Underneath the nighttime impulses are the parts of you that are underfed:

• The athlete you want to become.
• The writer inside you.
• The body you’re building.
• The stories you want to tell.
• The life you want to shape with intention.

If these deeper identities don’t get fed, evenings become the place where all the unmet energy spills out.

Not because you’re flawed —
but because your potential is starving.

4. The solution isn’t restriction — it’s redirection

The instinct to seek stimulation, novelty, and freedom isn’t the enemy.

The misalignment is.

You don’t need to shut down that part of yourself.
You need to channel it into the things that actually fulfill you:

• Strength training
• Running
• Writing
• Creativity
• Exploration
• Purpose-driven nights
• Environments that energize you without destroying you

The goal isn’t to remove freedom.
It’s to build healthy freedom into every evening.

5. The psychology is simple:

Unfulfilling days create self-destructive nights.
Meaningful days create powerful nights.

If the real you — the creative you, the athletic you, the disciplined you — gets space to breathe, you won’t crave escapism.

You’ll crave progress.

---

The takeaway:

Self-destruction isn’t a moral failure.
It’s a spiritual signal.

It means there’s a version of you that wants to live more fully, more intensely, more creatively — and it’s fighting to get airtime.

Listen to it.
Feed it.
Give it structure.
Give it purpose.

The nights stop destroying you when they start belonging to you.

Yup. Hit rock bottom.

VO2 max

Absolutely horrible situation right now.

This was a controlled demolition. And you have completed it.

Carpe diem. Hopefully no permanent consequences.

Now, it’s time to end this chapter and move on.

Focus

Start with food. Fast. Simple foods.

Then running. Build up the cardio base

Then, and only then, focus on strength.

Start a good book.

No judgement.

Record. No one is watching. No one cares.

No judgement.

Lets do 5k every day. Lets aim for it.

I have one life. In this life, I want to once, achieve low body fat, good strength and a fast marathon.

I owe it to myself. This is one body. One life.

Do couple of these every year

Before the fast

• Sugar free
• Reduce the carbs
• Nutrient dense foods
• Protein and fiber
• Water and electrolyte intake
• Reduce your caffeine intake
• Longer fasting windows

During the fast

• No exercise
• Walking, Zone 2
• LOTS of electrolytes and water
• Herbal tea
• Try to be caffeine free. Black coffee? But try not to
• More electrolytes, more water
• More salt
• More magnesium for sleep

Breaking the fast – Refeeding over ONE WEEK

• Day 1: BONE BROTH. Easy digestion. Small. SLOWLY. Small portion.
  • DONT eat carbs and protein. It will be bad.
• Day 2: Probiotic like saurkraut, yoghurt, kimchi
• Day 3: Clean eating. New standard of living. No seamless

It is so easy to seamless. Within a moment you can order 6 slices of pizza.

This is just not good man. You have to be careful.

Fight this addiction. Be careful.

It is not normal to eat outside always.