Just have faith

This is a tricky one, right? I am trying this again.

There is so much noise in the system. I feel like I know how to actually do this this time.

I want to get shredded so that I can run the marathon in sub 6 soon. The ultimate goal is sub 4. For that I need to loose weight. And I need to do all this before 40.

So this is important. This is very important. I have a plan. This year’s marathon I want to be 20 pounds lighter. By next year, I want to be slim.

DO not forget the vision. Imagine a slim body that runs marathons. Imagine chilling at the beach. Imagine as the face of a company.

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The plan?

I keep constantly telling myself what the general plan is. It is burning into my mind. Anyway, I am trying again. The 50 days start today.

  • 50 days
  • Built by science
  • Protein first, in every meal
  • Follow the calorie goals
  • Look at the workouts in the app.

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Food noise


TL;DR

It’s carbs. In all forms. Even the “healthy” ones. I do need to eat them—but absolutely not for breakfast or lunch. That’s the only approach that consistently quiets the food noise in my brain.


The Long Road

I’ve been overweight for nearly 20 years. As a kid, I was slim—5’11” and about 150 lbs during middle school—but we were food insecure, and I remember binge eating anytime food was available. I got my first stretch marks from overeating around age 17. Through college and my twenties, my weight ballooned. At 29, I hit 298 pounds.

That was my breaking point.

A year later, at 30, I was diagnosed with obesity-related chronic kidney disease. That lit a fire under me. I made changes, lost 88 pounds over two years, and hovered around 90–98 kg for the next three.


I’ve Tried Everything

Yes, including calorie counting (CICO). And while it technically works, it never worked for me mentally. As soon as I eat a certain amount, I can’t stop thinking about food. It’s like my brain flips a switch, and I white-knuckle through the day trying not to eat more—even though I’m full.

Keto worked best. I lost 50 pounds in five months and got back within a healthy BMI. But I was starving. I couldn’t get enough calories down. I was surviving on 600–1000 calories a day and feeling weak.


What Finally Helped: Intermittent Fasting and No Carbs Early

In 2024, I started intermittent fasting. I realized something big: I never woke up hungry. I could easily fast until 1:30 p.m. with zero effort. But once I broke the fast—no matter how healthy the meal—I’d spiral. Cravings. Food noise. Obsession.

Saxenda helped suppress that noise temporarily. But it wears off. I knew I had to figure this out myself. The key pattern? Carbs triggered the spiral. Every single time.


The Carb Problem

Even so-called healthy carbs like beans, grapes, rice, or wheat toast would completely unhinge my brain. A balanced lunch of broccoli, rice, and lean protein would quietly wreck my entire day. I’d either obsess over food or end up binge eating.

But if I ate carbs at night, something changed. I’d sleep it off and wake up refreshed. No cravings. Clean slate.


The Pattern Is Clear

Here’s what I learned:

  • Carbs in the morning or afternoon = cravings and chaos
  • Carbs at night before sleep = no cravings the next day

I’ve tested this again and again. It doesn’t matter if they’re “slow carbs” or low glycemic index. Anything over ~10g of carbs earlier in the day ruins my focus, triggers bingeing, and creates noise I can’t shut off.


So What Works?

Now, I follow this plan:

Weekdays (Workout Days)

  • Calories: 1700–1900
  • Breakfast/Lunch: 200–400 calories of protein, fat, and vegetables (no carbs)
    • Example: 100g chicken breast, jammy egg
  • Dinner: Up to 150g of carbs, less than 30g sugar
    • (Only on nights before lifting)

Rest Days

  • Calories: 1200–1600 depending on activity
  • Dinner Carbs:
    • 75g if not exercising the next morning

Bonus Strategy

  • If I eat a banana and milk latte right before lifting, it doesn’t trigger food noise—because it gets used for energy immediately.

Why This Works for Me

It’s not about “cutting carbs.” It’s about timing. Eating carbs before sleep gives my brain and body what they need—without messing with my hunger cues.

No volume eating. No trickery. No hunger in the morning. Just peace.


Final Thoughts

Maybe this strategy already exists somewhere. Maybe it sounds like “carb backloading” or “time-restricted feeding.” But I found it myself, by paying attention to how I react—not how I’m supposed to react.

There’s no one-size-fits-all plan. This is just mine. But if you also suffer from relentless food noise and nothing else has worked, maybe give it a try: no carbs until dinner.


A Note on the Past

I’m not unaware of the trauma behind some of these patterns—like growing up food insecure or bingeing as a child. That’s part of my story too. And I’m still working through it, piece by piece.

But for now, I’m just glad I found a strategy that finally works for my body.

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Metabolic disease


  • Nighttime eating
    • Beta cell reduces by 43%
    • Insulin sensitivity down by 37%
    • Gene expression
    • 50% more diabetes
  • Sleep depravation
    • insulin sensitivity down 25%
    • GLP1 down 33 percent
    • mitochondrial glucose down
  • Micronutrient deficiencies
    • Magnesium -> 31% lower insulin
    • Chromium -> -26% glocuse tolerance
    • Vit D -> 50% more diabetes risk
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Meditation thoughts

The Wake-Up Call

In 2022, something shifted. I’d always been heavy. Always metabolically broken. This wasn’t just lifestyle—I can see the genetics at work when I look at my parents. But 2022 made it urgent. I hit 33, and it felt like I’d reached a biological tipping point.

This is the “danger zone”—that brief window where I still have energy and most things are still reversible. I believe that window runs from your mid-30s to early 40s. After that, you either live with the consequences or spend the rest of your life trying to fight back with less and less.

Then came the moment that changed everything: seeing my dad go through his second round of heart stents. That was not the life I wanted.


What Worked Before

The only real success I’ve had came during what I now call the “Keto in Seattle” era. I was under low stress, had minimal responsibilities, ate simply, and exercised consistently. My insulin likely reset itself, and I looked and felt the best I ever had.

But after that came a cycle of frustration. I’d start something. Maybe lose 10–15 pounds. Then I’d get frustrated, burn out, and crash. The plan was always too complex or too intense. Food alone wasn’t enough. It was the workouts, that combination of motion and discipline, that really made the difference.


A Different Kind of Life

I look around and see what I don’t want: older guys drinking multiple times a week, on meds, ignoring their health. A kind of slow slide into mediocrity. That life? It’s empty. It’s not for me.

I’ve been put on this earth for something more—something exceptional. When I think back to who I was at 15, that spark I had… I know it’s still there.


From Zero to 26.2: The Marathon Blueprint

At the end of 2022, I made a plan: run a marathon in two years. I’d never run in my life. I started from zero miles a year to finishing a full marathon in 2024.

That success came from one thing: focus. The marathon gave me a single, narrow, quantifiable goal. Every week, I had mileage targets. Long runs. Progress I could see. I didn’t even worry about food. I just ran.

And audiobooks—especially fiction—kept me going. Harry Potter became my coach. I didn’t feel like running, but I wanted to hear the next chapter. That was the trigger.


The New Plan: 50-Day Sprint

Now, I’m starting again. This time, it’s a 50-day cut. No drifting. No distractions. Just laser focus.

Starting weight: 295 lbs
Goal (by Day 50): Into the 270s (~15 lbs lost)
Long-term goal: 240–220 lbs for NYC Marathon 2026

Core Commitments:

  • 🏋️‍♂️ Strength Training: 3x per week
  • 🏃‍♂️ Running: 1–2x per week in the park
  • 🥩 Nutrition: High-protein, very low-carb, intermittent fasting
  • 🍷 Alcohol: Almost entirely cut
  • ⚖️ Daily Weight Logging: Only track calories if the scale stalls
  • Mindset: Think in 50-day windows; break big goals into phases

Motivation Tactics That Actually Work

🎧 Fiction Audiobooks

This was a game-changer. When I ran, I wasn’t doing it for fitness—I was doing it to find out what happened next in the story. Long, immersive series with “replay value” (like Harry Potter or even thrillers like The Martian) are perfect.

Key rule: Must be fiction.
Non-fiction doesn’t keep me going. I’ll use AI for summaries if I want facts.

📚 Kindle Fiction for Bedtime

Reading before sleep helps reinforce the routine. Again—fiction only. No advice books, no productivity gurus. Just story.


A Mental Framework That Works for Me

1. Give Yourself Permission

I’m granting myself the right to ignore other life goals temporarily. No pressure to be productive in other ways. Not interviewing, not building a startup. I’ll revisit all that later.

2. Narrow the Scope

I succeed when I do less but better. For the marathon, I dropped all side projects and focused on mileage. I’ll do the same here. This is not a multitasking season. This is a transformation season.

3. Progress Without Overthinking

Sometimes the best kind of progress is just showing up. I’m not chasing PRs. I’m not optimizing macros. I’m showing up daily and moving forward.


The Timeline

  • May 10–June 28, 2025: 50-Day Sprint (Cut to 270s)
  • June 29–July 12: Recovery + Light Maintenance
  • July 13–Sept 30: Transition Phase (Summer)
  • Oct–Dec 2025: Final Push to 250
  • Jan–Oct 2026: Marathon Training + Cut to 220–240
  • Nov 1, 2026: NYC Marathon – sub-6 hour goal

Final Thoughts

This is the plan. No noise. No clutter. Just one mission. Get strong. Get light. Run hard.

I’ve done hard things before. From the outside, this might seem like just another fitness plan. But this isn’t about aesthetics. It’s about agency. It’s about reclaiming the person I used to believe I could be.

And this time, I’m not stopping.

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My meditation driven calendar

See the previous blog post. Measurements – a disaster.

Well, I have a plan.

Phase Start Date End Date Focus
Phase 1: 50-Day Sprint May 10, 2025 June 28, 2025 Intense fat loss, strength building, reduced alcohol
Break / Maintenance June 29, 2025 July 12, 2025 Light workouts, mental reset
Summer Transition Phase July 13, 2025 September 30, 2025 Maintenance, lifestyle tuning, evaluate next steps
Q4 Sprint to 250 October 1, 2025 December 31, 2025 Aggressive cut to hit 250 lbs
Final Marathon Prep January 1, 2026 October 31, 2026 High mileage, lean body comp, endurance peak
Marathon Day November 1, 2026 November 1, 2026 NYC Marathon – sub-6 hour goal

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Measurements – a disaster

Just took my weight for the first time in 2 years. Its 10 pounds higher than 2 years ago. Sigh.

I am happy that I took the weight. Measurement is important. Without it, it won’t work.

Remember that measuring my miles helped me achieve the fucking marathon. So, I think measuring the weight will have to help me here too.


Weight is the only real measurable right now

Weight loss has been so challenging to me. I have tried and failed so many times in the past. And I am pretty discouraged right now.

Its the same old shit, right?

i just did a meditation. lets think about it.

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Current gym workout

I go to that gym near my house. Right next to it. On the first floor.

I have cables, rack. I think its cool.

Cables seem nice to me.

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I hate not being able to keep my schedule

What happened today? What a bunch of fat, old, drunk uncles. Don’t waste time with that.

Focus on the building of your own body. Of your future. Be focussed and add entropy to your life.

This is not entropy anymore. This is depravity.

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Focus

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