It’s out of my system

I had a wild night. Got home at 4am. Slept at 5:30am.

The day started good, but towards the end of the night, I was just looking for self destruction. It has been a while since I did this. I have lost interest in the Carpe Diem world. The Carpe Diem lifestyle. I was doing it all the fucking time before. But I havent done it in a while.

I definitely don’t want this to become routine. I think I sort of reached a breaking point. Relapsed in some sense. Lots of frustrations. Mostly because I couldn’t see more progress from myself. And the stresses of life.

But now I think I am done with killing myself. And over consuming. I am not interested in consuming P, or useless other people podcasts, etc. I want to still the mind more often. Sleep well. Focus on my health and work. Don’t let the noise distract you at all.