I have typically thought of myself as an alpha male. But there are beta characteristics inside me (which have only increased due to a psychological “fattening” due to lack of “working it out”).
Specifically, how I am dealing with people including my parents and girlfriend. And at work.
Here are some traits I want to maximize
- Love yourself and lead by example by being awesome (don’t be an asshole)
- People may not like you, thats okay. Be secure and self assured.
- Never apologize for things you haven’t done wrong. Fuck, gf has been acting more alpha than me
- Don’t be mysogynistic. And don’t be a clown.
- Don’t let people, her ruffle your feathers.
- Don’t be so clingy, controlling, PETULANT. Absolutely NOT.
- Don’t let channel your dad’s BETA mindset – petulant child, emotional as hell.
- Look people in the eye, be a charismatic fuck
- Be frank. Put confidence behind your words. Don’t be abrasive.
- Social settings are not scary. You can pull people in.
- Be talkative with people.
- Be clear, concise and have high expectations from the people around you.
- Talk to people straight up.
- Dress well
- Don’t tolerate bs
Some resources:
Keeping Her in Love with You
This is where the fun really begins. You two can grow together, share experiences together, and start building a life together.
It is absolutely critical to NEVER forget why she fell for you in the first place. Go back and re-read Part 1: Primer On Who You Will Become and the Primer on Being a Modern Alpha Male. You were able to land this amazing woman because you’ve embodied all those characteristics! Don’t fall into the classic trap of forgetting all you’ve learned just because you have easy access to sex!
She fell in love with you because:
- You are a leader. You take her by the hand and decide how things will be. In the early stage of the relationship, you should be making close to 100% of the decisions. As time goes on, she’ll naturally try to suggest things to do. This is perfectly healthy and you should absolutely let her do so, just don’t ever give up control entirely. Women lose respect for men who can’t lead. However, she will naturally try to take ownership of certain parts of the relationship. If she feels like her input isn’t valued, her emotions will drift elsewhere. Pick your battles; let her take the lead on things from time to time.
- You have firm values. When she does something shitty, you call her out on it. This could be as trivial as showing up 10 minutes late or as big as cheating on you. Whatever it is, you MUST stand up for yourself. Don’t be a doormat!
- You make her feel valued and appreciated. When she does something adorable that makes you feel warm inside, tell her! Smile genuinely and profess your love from time to time. Affection is sexy as hell when it’s not coupled with neediness.
- You make her feel desired and beautiful. Never stop seducing your woman. Grab her and rip her clothes off spontaneously. Compliments on her physical beauty are MUCH sexier when they aren’t just words. Show her she’s beautiful with your actions!
- You are fun and spontaneous. Remember all those great date ideas you have? Bust ’em out! Send her mysterious invitations and take her on magic carpet rides. Your life is awesome and you’re letting her ride shotgun in it. Don’t take that offer lightly.
- You are on a journey towards greatness. You were in the middle of your self-development journey when you met her. Whether or not you realized it, that fact alone is extremely attractive. It’s the same reason women are suckers for starving artists. They value STRIVING FOR GREATNESS as much as greatness itself. Don’t ever stop improving! Keep setting higher and higher goals. Don’t give up. Don’t settle.
Clever__Girl 28 points 6 years ago*
Ok I’m not going to nitpick you like others, I understand what your asking as far as “alpha”- you want to have a commanding presence, you don’t want to look weak, you want to seem very self assured. People have a negative association sometimes with the word “alpha” because it’s been used to death by bros and niceguys and Caesar Milano- but you’re not asking how to be a Chad or how to make your dog respect you, u/_god_dammit_ . You want to know how to know how to be a guy who can lead. You want people to want your time, to look at you like a whole package kind of guy. The problem with being a dominant personality or “alpha” is you can’t fake the funk, confidence is key, and you can learn confidence.
What don’t you like about yourself? What are you self conscious about? Figure that out, then you have 2 choices: improve those short comings, or start not giving a fuck about what other people think about them. I am not a guy, but I have gone from passive, insecure, and anxious, to dominant, self assured, and well-liked by 99% of people I meet. What I’ve learned isn’t gender-specific. Start loving who you are (it takes self-improvement most of the time) and others will love you too.
The surface stuff:
Yes, a real “alpha” person is typically attractive: work-out and treat your body nice- don’t binge drink and dont do hard drugs. That is weak, escapist behavior anyway, and you love you so what would you want to run from? Get a sense of style- but base it on something you like and feel comfortable in. What style represents you most? OK, now make sure that shit fits right on your body. R/malefashionadvice is a great place to see how to dress your body type. Find a real barber and pick a cut that suits you and you can maintain. You’ll be amazed at how good you’ll feel when you take control of your appearance.
I’ve met alphas that are not conventionally attractive but they have a strong sense of personal style and are happy with themselves, so genetics are not everything.
The real stuff:
An alpha is warm in social settings and draws people to them- a real alpha isn’t a prick who demands the center of attention, they never have to demand anything. People want to give them attention, people want to be near them. Compliment others only when sincere, but never kiss someone’s ass. I would never say something like “Oh wow you are so smart!” I would say “That is a really interesting point you made about xyz”. I would never say “Omg you’re so beautiful” I would choose something to compliment that they consciously made effort on like “that jacket looks killer with those shoes” or “that makeup really compliments your eyes” (women especially prefer to be complimented on their choices more than their physical features). If you’re selective and sincere about your compliments they hold much more weight.
Be frank but not abrasive. Don’t be threatened or get emotional by other opinions that differ from yours. Have a sense of humor, have convictions. Never be dismissive of others, don’t be aloof. Alphas “control” situations by participating and being engaged, not by looking too cool for everyone around. An alpha wouldn’t be afraid to meet new people would they? An alpha doesn’t ever put others down to lift themselves up- you would never need to do this if you’re already on the level. Look others in the eye, it’s a sign of intelligence, confidence, sincerity, respectful listening.
Alphas don’t let others ruffle their feathers, they never appear jealous. They handle others jealousy of them with humor or by simply not acknowledging it. I have had many women (and sometimes men) attempt to get under my skin when first meeting them, but had them asking for my number by the end of the night to hang out. People are weird and like to “test” others, but when you are comfortable with yourself you don’t need the approval of people you’ve known for 15 minutes. Let them play the game against themselves, they will most likely come around when they realize you aren’t playing.
Be ok with the fact not everyone will like you. Alphas tend to be a little “intense”, even if they aren’t necessarily loud or outright domineering. If you know you are being the best you can be, then you have no reason to take it personal. The problem lies with them. If you do fuck up, have the integrity to apologize. It will make others respect you even more.
On the other hand, never apologize when you know you did nothing wrong. I have smoothed things over with people who are unjustifiably upset with me by saying “It’s unfortunate you feel that way, but I would love to move on from the situation and maintain our friendship, would you feel comfortable with that?” Works wonderfully. Apologies admit wrongdoing, and I’m not going to claim guilt to appease someone else. We are humans and screw up enough on our own- save your humility for when you really need it.
Loving yourself is a journey. Everything I wrote might sound contrived, but these were all behaviors/traits that came naturally after I truly became happy with myself and realized I had a lot to offer the world around me. OF COURSE I don’t mean to say that everyone who loves themselves is alpha or wants/needs to be alpha- but I will say that every real alpha loves themselves.
tl;dr alphas love themselves and lead by being awesome not by being assholes
https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fobhj/lesson_1_primer_on_being_a_modern_alpha_male/
Hi guys.
I’m here to talk to you today about what being a modern alpha male entails. This, I believe, is the key to successful game. I will be following up with further posts on how to properly display these traits in the field and also which common pitfalls to avoid.
CHARACTERISTICS OF A MODERN ALPHA MALE
- 1) Be a leader of men
People should look to you as a leader. You lead by example. You set the tone for the night. When there’s any doubt about what the next move should be, you’re the one who decides. You take women by the hand. You’re a social hub. You’re the one people look to when they’re looking for a fun time. You’re assertive but take everyone’s feelings into account.
- 2) Be firm in your values
You have meditated and thought about your deepest inner values. You are unwavering on these. These can include things as basic as love of life, traveling, studying, religion, or not tolerating condescension or self-defeating behavior. These are the basic pieces that make up your personality and it is important to know what they are. The average, beta male has trouble describing his personal values to others. He looks to others to define who he is. This will not be you. YOU will define who you are. Nobody else.
- 3) Be self-validated
You do not need the validation of others to define your confidence. You can get “in state” from energy generated purely from within. You don’t look to others for approval because you KNOW you’re an all-star. You’re AWESOME and every fiber of your being knows it. You will not be knocked out of state in the field because nothing can harm your ego. You are awesomeness embodied. Settle for nothing less.
- 4) Be non-reaction seeking & non-reactive
How someone reacts to your behavior is not particularly important to you. You are self-validated and emanate awesomeness. You are positive, understanding and beneficent to others yet do not need this fact acknowledged. People react to YOU. You do not react to THEM. People seek your approval which you dole out as appropriate. You are outcomes-independent.
- 5) Have social proof and preselection
Everywhere you go, people want to be associated with you. You have many friends. Beautiful women are part of your life. You accept this as a god-given fact. You own every room you’re in. You’re Bill Clinton. You have an abundance mentality because your life is abundant.
- 6) Be a value giver (and not a value taker)
You do not NEED approval from others. Approval is something a high value individual doles out to others. Receiving approval is taking value. Seeking approval is being a value taker. YOU dole out the approval. YOU are approached by value takers. YOU are a value giver. Every person you encounter in your life is better off for having met you. Whether it’s just a wave hello to a stranger, a compliment to your butcher, or a massive party you help organize and invite high value people to, you’re enriching the lives of others. You are benevolent and compassionate. You look out for and protect the people in your life.
- 7) Be fun
Everywhere you go, you BRING THE PARTY. You ARE the party! You’re able to have fun everywhere you go. You can turn a boring bar into the place to be, just by stepping in the room. You’re those people in the club having more fun than everyone else. You’re playful, teasing, and spontaneous with the women in your life. People want to be with you and be blessed with the value emanating from your pores.
- 8) Don’t be creepy & make sure to dress/groom well
As a modern, alpha male, it’s important to be well groomed and dressed properly for your personality. People look up to you and it’s important to put effort into your appearance. Likewise, you will avoid creepy or stalkerish behavior. These are not congruent with an alpha male.
Everyone studying seduction on this board should give serious considering towards living their life to become the embodiment of these eight points.
Next time, Lesson 2: Alpha Body Language & Tonality
The Rolex Life 
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