Emotions are from confidence

In 2022, I went through more of a mental transformation. I didn’t lose a lot of weight, but I think I had a mental switch. I flipped the switch.

I wrote some details about Building Confidence. One thing that I talk about in that blog post is that I want to build behind-the-fence confidence. The people who say no don’t matter. The people who feign concern don’t matter. Nothing seems to be greater to me than that fight with yourself as you go towards conquering lofty goals. To achieve what you set your mind towards.

I entered 2023 with my inner confidence brewing and decided to take a lot of big shots. There is a snapshot of my life in which I achieve a lot of my goals: health, relationship and work. And this year I started in all three directions.

I have high expectation from myself. Higher than anyone else might have off of myself. And I am not going to settle or beg. I will continue to take my shots and either people can join me or not.

Running is changing me in a deep way. The act of just going out there to the park and running for some amount of miles despite the naysayers, the distractions, the high stresses at work, the mf’ing environment… none of that matters to me. I just go.

Emotions

For some reason when I look at videos of the NY Marathon from years past, I get a bit emotional. It’s this idea of conquering this task. As a fat guy, to be able to push my body to adapt, slim down and conquer that marker. And also finally feel like a New Yorker.

I have visualized that day: November 3 2024.

After I have completed that marathon, I will vote in my first presidential election ever.

And then, I will go watch the Steelers play in Pittsburgh, on their journey to the Superbowl.

Completing that marathon would mean that my body has finally come into shape and created a base for the rest of my life.

Beck and Terrell

The Beck Book and Chris Terrell have been instrumental in initiating the flipping of the switch. It is propagating into the rest of my life. Let’s keep going.